Wendy (00:02.42)
Hello there, welcome back to The Coaching Edge. I'm your host, Wendy McCallum. And today I wanna talk about, this is more of a practice management topic. It has come up many times in the BBB, which is my community for coaches who are actively working on building their small coaching businesses. And I just felt like something that might be really helpful to you as a coach out there, going this alone, trying to figure out how to do things.
And that is what to do when it feels like you are done with a coaching client. Now there are many different reasons why you might be feeling that way and I'm gonna deal with three common ones today. So you might feel that way because your coaching engagement is actually just up. So for example, maybe they signed on for a six session package with you or a 12 session package with you and you have reached your sixth or 12th session. You might feel that way because
you're still coaching them. So you're partway through the engagement, but they have met whatever that goal was that they were seeking to achieve with your support through coaching. And so it feels like you're sort of done in terms of providing the value and helping them to achieve the results that they were looking to achieve. Or it might feel like it's just not a good fit or they're not getting any value anymore from it, or you're not really able to help them in the way that you were hoping you were going to be able to support them.
and, and or you just really don't want to keep coaching them. Like there are a number of different reasons why you might feel this way. So I'm going to deal with each of those in turn, because I think the way that you approach it is going to be different depending on the reasons why you're feeling like you're done. But the truth is this happens sometimes. Sometimes you're working with clients and it just doesn't feel resonant anymore for you. It doesn't feel good. And I think it's important to pay attention to that when it happens. And there are some steps that I always take.
that I wanted to share with you today, because I thought it might be helpful for you as you go through this, because you will definitely experience this. So let's start with the first one, the engagements up. So what to do when you have reached the end of the sessions that have been prepaid, pre -committed to with that client. So let's say it's a six session coaching engagement. When they started with you, they had a particular challenge, problem, place of stuckness that you were.
Wendy (02:28.572)
going to help support them around, help them get unstuck, help them move forward, they had a goal. And you have now been through those six sessions and you're either at the sixth session or approaching the sixth session. What do you do in that moment? I think a lot of new coaches will just assume that this is automatically the end of the road with this coaching client. Engagement's over, you have provided the services that they asked you for and that they paid for.
But that's actually a big mistake a lot of the time with coaching clients because you're making a bunch of assumptions. And those assumptions can be detrimental to your client in terms of their continued personal growth and also to you as a coach and to your coaching business. So here's what I do when the engagement is almost up. So this is a practice that I teach in the BBB and actually give you the feedback questions and form that I use and all of that so that you can make it your own in there.
But I'm just gonna summarize it for you here. What I always do is in the session before the coaching engagement is up, so if it's a six session engagement, this would happen in the fifth session. If it's a 12 session engagement, this would happen in the 11th session. But I send an email out to my client and I let them know in the 11th or fifth session that I'm about to do this so that they go check their emails for it. And I say, I'm gonna send you a link to a coaching reflections document, which is gonna ask you some really...
directed focused questions that are going to help you to reflect on the progress that you have made since we started together, what you have learned, the tools you now have in your toolkit, the clarity that you now have that you didn't have before, and maybe also on some areas that are still feeling a little murky for you or where you still, you know that you want to do some more work. And then in that coaching reflections form, also going to provide an opportunity for you to give me some feedback on the coaching experience that you've had and on me as a coach.
and I'm going to ask for your permission to use that in future marketing. It is absolutely up to you whether you agree or not to that. But what I'm really looking for is your feedback so that I can use that to become a better coach as I go forward. So I send out a link to mine is just a simple Google form that I have set up with a series of questions that I have honed and tailored over the years that goes out to every client in the second to last coaching session. That
Wendy (04:54.152)
document and their answers then forms the basis of the last session. And it helps me to deal with this very question of like, are we done, right? In terms of what to do next with this client. I take a look at that. And if it is clear that there are still some areas where that client is feeling like they have some work to do or they're feeling a little bit unclear and they would like some more support, then that is the obvious sort of jumping off point for the conversation in that last call. We talk about always,
where they started, I often go back to my notes from the very first session, even the discovery call that I had with them, just to remind them of how far they've come since we started coaching and the value in the coaching so far. And then if there are some things that they identify either through that coaching reflections document or through the conversation in that last session as, you know, other things that have come up for them since they have cleared this one issue problem area of uncertainty.
has something else popped up for them that they feel like they now want to address and work on? And if the answer is yes, then I will always offer them more support. Very often, a six -session coaching engagement isn't the end of the road for me and the client. We very often will re -up for another six sessions if they have more work to do and or if they have something new that they would like coaching around. So it's a really great opportunity for you to offer continued support to your client.
And I think a lot of coaches miss out on that. They just say, thank you very much. Six sessions. Hope you enjoyed yourself. I'm really proud of you. Way to go. And that's the end. So that's if the engagement is up and it feels like you've got more to offer them and they have something that they want to work on with you can always go on. Sometimes the engagement's up. The client has achieved what they needed to and wanted to achieve through the coaching sessions. They're feeling amazing. They're feeling so happy with the support that you gave them. They give you a great
testimonial and feedback in that document. And then you might say to them, which I always do and recommend you do something like, you know, I am just so impressed with the work that you've done and the transformation that you have affected for yourself in your life and all the growth that you've had in the time that we've been working together. If down the road you find yourself looking for a little more support, feeling like things aren't quite where you want them to be, I encourage you to reach out. I would love to support you down the road if...
Wendy (07:15.814)
if you think that would be helpful to you. again, make sure the door is open for them. I actually have a formal off -boarding email that I send that says all of that. And again, the template for that, it's part of the BBB. I can't remember the exact words right now, but you know, it says something that very clearly leaves the door open for them to reach out to me down the line should they require any further support, either on this topic or on a different area of coaching.
The other thing that sometimes can be a great tool at this point, so at when a coaching engagement is wrapping up, is this can be a really great time if you have this setup. This would be a great time to move somebody from a one -on -one coaching arrangement into a group or community coaching platform. So I often have alumni programming that I run. So these are groups that I run for women who are work with, have worked with me one -on -one on a very
specific area of growth or transition. And maybe in the beginning, it serves them much better to do that work privately with me. But by the time they're finished working with me, they would, they're really ready for some community around that topic. So to meet other women who are struggling with the same thing, and also for some continued coaching, but maybe in a slightly lighter touch way. So not as, as one -on -one. And I will often move women from the one -on -one coaching
arrangement into the group program. And I provide like a really attractive rate for my alumni for that group program. And a lot of my female one -on -one clients will end up moving into that women only group that I have. you can do that. That really depends on the niche that you coach in, but that might make sense for you. It might make sense to have a group program that allows them to have continued support and accountability, but is less expensive than continuing the one -on -one coaching. Now, of course, if you don't have enough clients yet,
then this is probably something to save for down the line. I didn't start running that alumni group until I had really built up a robust alumni group of women who I knew were craving community and would be interested in that if I was to offer it. Okay, the second reason why you might feel like you're sort of done with a coaching client would be if partway through the engagement, they meet their goals. So let's say they come to you and it's a 12 session coaching engagement and they're not happy with their relationship with alcohol.
Wendy (09:38.068)
example, and they're really struggling with that they want to change the way they feel about alcohol and the way that alcohol is showing up in their life. And so you take them on for a 12 session program, they prepay for the 12 sessions, you start with them and by session eight, they are just killing it. They are not thinking about drinking anymore. They're feeling really confident in their in their behavior around drinking, they're really confident in their mindset around drinking. And they come to the session, they say, you know what, I think I'm good. I think I'm done.
What do you do in that situation? Well, this is again, a really great time to do a bit of a recap, go back to where they were when they first started, go back and then kind of talk about where they are now and what's shifted in terms of the way that they're feeling about this topic, what's shifted in terms of the way that they're behaving, what tools do they have in their toolkit now that they now have at the beginning, and really emphasize the value of the coaching to date and clarify the transformation that they have already affected and the new tools and
that they've learned in pathways, maybe that they've laid down. And then ask them if there's anything else that's coming up for them now, because so very often with the coaching that we do, when we help our clients move through or get unstuck in one area of their life, a clarity comes with that and maybe some space opens up for them. And suddenly it becomes really glaringly obvious to them that another part of their life is not feeling resonant and is not where they want it to be. And that can very often become the focus of the coaching sessions.
for the rest of the engagement. So that's something that I always ask clients. Now that you have cleared this space, you're feeling so good about this particular area of your life, is there something else that is starting to take up more space than you like? Is there something else that you're feeling is not quite where you want it to be or that you can see that if you did some work on it, you could feel better about that? And if so, how would you feel about us focusing on that for the remainder of the sessions and the coaching engagement? Because I think we could make some really great progress there too.
Right, so that's one thing that I would always do in that situation. If the answer to that is there's nothing, I'm great, I'm good, I'm golden, I don't need any more coaching support, which by the way, doesn't happen very often. There's almost always something else to coach on, especially if you are a general life coach. So you have sort of generalized coaching training and you can go and coach in other areas outside of whatever that specific.
Wendy (11:59.986)
challenge was they came to see you about. But if you find yourself in a situation where it feels like there actually isn't anything more and they are genuinely great and good to go and there are four sessions they've paid for that they cannot use, a couple different options. One, you can, this is what I would normally do. I would say, well, okay, why don't we take a pause in our coaching now? And then I give them a timeframe during which I will honor their prepaid sessions. So you can come back to me anytime in the next six months.
and let me know that you're ready to use those other sessions. It can be on this particular topic or something else might come up in your life that you're looking for some support around. So I I stretch out the coaching engagement and give them time and say, will honor those sessions during that time. You can of course give them a refund for those sessions, but that's not my first line of practice usually. If somebody specifically asks for a refund, I will always consider that. I'm always very clear.
when I'm coaching other coaches. I think there's great value to being reasonable with refunds. Even if you have a no refund policy, which by the way is not a bad thing, you can always be flexible with that if it serves you in the moment. The last thing you wanna do is destroy your brand and set yourself up for the possibility of like poor word of mouth by not refunding in a situation where refunding would make sense, right?
I might refund, but most times I don't. Most times I offer just to honor those coaching sessions down the line within this timeframe, within six months or within a year, you can come back to me and I will honor those prepaid sessions. The other thing that I do and have been doing for a very long time is I offer the option to put those sessions in what I call the pay it forward bank. Now, this is something I started doing because I, as a coach,
and as an empathetic person who cares and who has been there frankly, in a lot of the places that my clients find themselves with a lot of similar challenges, I am prone to offering people free or severely discounted coaching if they legitimately cannot afford my services, but I think that I could really help them and they would be lovely to work with.
Wendy (14:16.762)
I have been doing that for a really long time. often offer scholarships to group programs or discounted one -on -one pricing packages if I really love the client on a discovery call, but it's just so clear that they are actually financially not in a position to pay for the coaching. The Pay It Forward account is a way for my clients who are more financially comfortable to...
pay their sessions, their unused sessions forward. So they've had great success through the coaching with me and those sessions that they have not used, they can put them in the bank and those basically become sessions that I then give to somebody else for free. And you can have a really formal system that you use for that or you can do that informally. But that is something a lot of my clients will say, my gosh, put them in the Pay It Forward. I would love for someone else who can't afford your services to get the value that I've gotten from the coaching that I've done with you.
So that's something that I do sometimes too. Now the third reason why you might be feeling like someone's not a good fit, sorry, like you're done with a client is that they're not a good fit or they're not making any progress anymore. It doesn't feel like they're getting value out of your sessions. This is really common. I hear this in the BB all the time, BBB, my coaches will come and they'll say, I'm working with this person. She's so quiet. We get our sessions,
get to our sessions and it's like pulling teeth and I feel like she's really not there. She's not super coachable. I'm just really struggling with it. I'm not sure that she's getting any value out of this and it's starting to feel uncomfortable to me to be continuing to charge her or to be continuing to try to coach her.
Here's what I would say to you. The first thing you have to do is drop all the assumptions you're making because we make a lot of assumptions in these circumstances, often assumptions like, I'm not a good coach or I'm not a good coach for her or she's not getting any value out of these sessions, but she's just too polite to let me know that, right? Or this feels like unethical. I'm taking money, but I'm not really providing her with much back.
Wendy (16:24.02)
Like those are the types of assumptions that we make in those situations. I know that because I hear my BBB coaches tell me that those are the assumptions they're making. And also because I've been there, I have made those assumptions. I've been coaching for 15 years and I've had the overwhelming majority of my clients. It feels like there's clear value in every session that I have done with them. But I have obviously had clients that have been more challenging than others. And I have been in the situation where I felt like not sure I'm providing this person with anything anymore.
They keep coming back, but I'm not sure why. I'm not really giving them any great value and it's not feeling right to me. This is when you have to, in order to do your client right and in order to do yourself right, you have to explore this with them. You have to ask some curious questions. I think you will be blown away at the response that you get. I always in that situation, take a little pause with my client and say,
before we get started on our session today, I have something I would love to talk to you about. And then oftentimes I will do a little recap. say, when you first came to see me, this was the issue that you were struggling with and that you wanted my support around. And I'll ask them to tell me what progress they've made, where they are with that now, know, do that little recap thing again. And then I'll say, I am genuinely curious as to what value you are getting from these sessions.
now because I want to make sure that if you continue to work with me that you're feeling like you're getting great value out of it and you're here for continued growth. It's really serving you not because you feel like you have to be here. And I'll be really honest in that conversation with them. So many times when I have been feeling like the client has not been getting value from recent sessions, the answer is something like, my gosh, no.
I love knowing that I'm gonna meet with you every week. I love our conversations. This is the thing that I think is the last piece for me that is keeping me on track and accountable when it comes to continuing to make the changes that you have helped me put into place. So almost always the answer is something around accountability and how important it is to that person. Now, I do believe as a coach and as a good coach that my job is to get people to a place where they feel really empowered and they feel like they can be accountable to themselves. So we usually have a conversation around
Wendy (18:37.502)
how this is not the long -term goal for them to need to continue to see me to stay on track and that we're working towards them actually becoming really accountable to themselves, trusting themselves and having the confidence to go and fly the coop and go it alone. But that is often the response that I get when I ask that question. I also have had some very surprising responses and I wanted to share one little story with you that might...
help motivate you to actually ask these curious questions if you find yourself in this place. I had a client that I worked with for a very long time. He came to me with very specific issues that he wanted support around. And we worked on those areas for almost, I'd say a year, year and a half. He made tremendous progress. He changed so many things. And he was just such a lovely person and very, very coachable, very...
committed to coaching, showed up very openly and curious and always wanted to have the conversations. So there just seemed to be more and more things that came up during the course of our coaching to coach on. But at a certain point, it started to feel to me like he might just be coming to the coaching because it was too hard for him to leave. He felt like maybe he was going to disappoint me or something. I wasn't sure.
I really loved meeting with him, but I was running out of, I felt like I was running out of topics for coaching and running out of coaching questions at this point. And so I had a heart to heart with him and I said exactly what I just said I would ask a client in this type of situation. I asked him what the value was that he got out of our sessions and why he continued to come. I think we were probably seeing each other every couple of weeks at that point.
I wanted to just let him know that if he felt like he was ready to leave, that was absolutely okay. In fact, that would be fantastic. That would be something to celebrate if he felt like he was ready to go it alone. And he said in tears to me, he said,
Wendy (20:49.244)
I come here every couple of weeks because this office is like a port in the storm for me. He said, it is safe, it is calm, and I always feel better when I leave here. I love our conversations. I love this break in my day. I love the things I've learned from you. I love everything about these sessions. They bring me tremendous value. And it was just not the answer I expected, but I could see
in that moment, how that could feel very true to him. had a very chaotic, very stressful life. A lot of the work that we were doing was around burnout, burner recovery, wellness, that type of thing. And our sessions had become an opportunity for him to calm his nervous system down and to have a safe conversation about whatever was on his mind that week. So that was really interesting for me. Of course, we had a conversation around the same, the fact that
know, at some point the goal would be for him to feel confident and to find that porch in the storm somewhere else in his life and create that that calmness for himself, which was something that we were working on. But that was a really eye opening conversation and answer and it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't asked that question. I wouldn't have learned that information. So
So that's a really good line of inquiry with your clients. And sometimes you'll get the answer, no, there is tremendous value here for me. I love these sessions. They give me so much. I always leave the session feeling so much better than I did when I started. And if that's the case, then you get to decide as a coach whether it makes sense for you to continue supporting this person, like I said. Now, sometimes it actually doesn't feel like there's any value in those sessions. You have that conversation with the client and they can't think of anything.
and you don't get that type of an answer in that situation. That's when you really encourage them to fly the coop. You know, you, maybe you're just, you're staying here because it feels safer for you to stay here than to go try this or practice this on your own. Maybe you're worried about sort of cutting that cord with me. but you can do this and this is an opportunity for you to celebrate as a coach and to champion your client and to tell them that you absolutely believe in them and to remind them of all the progress that they've made. And then you can say to them, I think it'd be a great idea if you went out there and tried it on your own.
Wendy (23:07.378)
I always offer to my clients that they can come back if they need more support down the line. So you can always reach out to me if it turns out that you need some more support on this, so you're not quite where you wanna be with it, but I believe in you and I think you are there. And I think the only way for us to find out is for you to go and go it alone for a little while. And if you have sessions that they have paid for again, that in that situation, you don't think they're gonna use, obviously you have the, it's you.
There's an opportunity always for discretionary refund. There's an opportunity to use that sort of pay it forward fund idea that I was talking about. That is absolutely up to you or you may have a no refund policy. They may not ask for refund and you may decide not to refund that of course is up to you as a coach. I will often though in that situation refer them to some other resources that might help them stay supported. Especially if I don't want to keep supporting them personally at that point.
Or sometimes you get to a point where you have a suite in your suite of offers, you have some self -guided programming that you could offer them. So something that doesn't have any one -on -one or even group coaching to it. So it's just something they can take away and work through. You might want to offer that. So there are a number of ways to deal with that. And then if it's just a...
just doesn't feel like a good fit, which also sometimes happens. You know, you do your best in a discovery call to screen. And I think discovery calls are so important for this. And this is why I was, I'm always teaching my coaches not to go into a discovery call with a desired outcome. Like the desired outcome is I'm going to sell something to this person. They're going to become a coaching client.
Instead, go in with like genuine curiosity. I'm going to see whether this person might be a good fit for me and the coaching that I offer and be somebody who I would be really delighted to work with. Because when you go in with that, then you've succeeded if you have gotten clarity on that question. And sometimes the answer is no, they're not a great fit for the coaching that I offer. Or they don't seem like somebody who I really love coaching and they probably get more out of coaching with somebody else and I'm gonna give them some referrals to other coaches I know who might be a better fit for them, right?
Wendy (25:17.268)
And sometimes it turns out they're a great client and it's a great fit. But taking on clients from a place of scarcity because you are so worried that you won't be able to make enough money this month almost always will lead to a situation where some of the clients in your roster are not great fits for you. And sometimes they can be such bad fits that it actually doesn't feel like it serves you or them to continue the coaching engagement. And if you find yourself in that situation then there are some tough conversations that have to happen.
And I would say for me personally, that's always a situation where I would offer a prorated refund for all of the sessions that we did not do together. Because in that situation, if it does feel like a little bit sour, it doesn't feel like a good fit, I always want to leave it on as best a note as I can. And for me, that is always to refund and never to be to come out like a head.
in that situation that never feels fair or good to me. Again, it's a personal choice, but that's always where I land on this. And that has served me very, very well in the few occasions when this has happened. And it does happen even to me, sometimes with the best of intentions in a discovery call, with the best screening tools that I have, with all the experience that I have working with, know, hundreds and hundreds of clients over the years, I still end up working with somebody and we're just not a great fit. And in that situation,
this is generally what I would do is we would have the hard conversation and I would say, don't know that this is working anymore. I would ask them what value they're getting. If they're saying they're not getting value, I'd say, you know what? I think maybe it'd be better if at this point you moved to this type of support. And then I would give them what I think is the next level of support for them. I've definitely worked with coaching clients and at some points become really clear to me that there was some trauma that is unresolved there, for example, and that's outside my scope as a coach to deal with trauma like that.
And I might say to them, I think it'd be really great if you spent these hours with a therapist instead, because this very well might be the thing that's keeping you stuck. And I want you as your coach, I want you to move through this and on from this, and then refund them for the sessions that are left and suggest to them that they use that money towards therapy, for example. know, it's always been my practice to refund in a situation where it doesn't feel like a good fit. And after some work,
Wendy (27:38.206)
feels clear to me that the client feels that way too, especially, then I will always offer an out in that situation. And usually the out involves a refund. So hopefully that's helpful to you. These are types of situations that are just part of being a coach. And over time, the more experience you get with these, the more intuitive it will feel in terms of how you deal with them and respond to them. hopefully the thing that you've gotten out of this that is the most, that sticks with you.
is that you have to get curious and drop the assumptions and ask the questions because it is if you're coactively, that is the two of you are showing up in the sessions together and you're not just telling your client what to do, which I think is honestly not great coaching. Then,
it really does matter how your client's feeling and the value that your client's getting from the sessions and their thoughts on the whole situation. And that's what leads to, I think, a really good conversation and can lead to a really positive next step, whatever that looks like for you and your client. So, yeah, I hope you found that helpful. I am always open to new ideas for coaching topics and for conversation topics on this podcast. So if there's something about...
the practice of coaching that you're struggling with or the administration or the business of coaching. And you would love for me to cover it on the coaching edge. Just send me a note. You can always email me at wendy at wendymcallum .com or find me on Instagram at wendymcallumcoach and just pop into the DMs and let me know what your ideas are. And I promise you, I will add them to my list. Have a wonderful day.
